Ultimate Race
by nld200xy
Summary: This is a race where the greatest anime and video game characters will compete! Who will win? Find out!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters used in this accept myself, Neil!

The Ultimate Race

One day, a boy Neil Dunsmore was just sitting around thinking about what to do. It had been weeks since he had last made fictional characters do stuff for people's enjoyment. Suddenly, he came up with an idea.

Two days later, he had set up a special race with cameras all around the area. This great setup was home to one of the greatest races in history.

We take you to the Straw Hat pirates. They were out enjoying blissful weather when a bird showed up. As Luffy saw the bird, he grinned happily and exclaimed, "SANJI, GET THAT BIRD! I WANT YOU TO COOK IT SO WE CAN EAT IT!" Sanji knew that Luffy couldn't catch birds so well, so he came out, climbed up to the top of the nest and hurled himself at the bird. His foot smashed into its back as it crashed down onto the deck.

Luffy started to drool as Sanji took out his knife. The bird noticed the knife and blew a fireball at Sanji's face. Luffy was left in hysterics at the site of this as Nami noticed that this strange bird had a letter on its foot.

Nami walked over to the bird, pried the letter from its foot and opened it up. She glared at Luffy and barked, "Don't eat that bird! It was only here to deliver a letter!" Sanji was about to pummel the bird when Nami had made that order. So, instead of killing it, he ran up to Nami and stated, "I'll gladly let the bird go free for you, Nami-sama!"

The bird flew off as Nami was ready to read the letter. It read: "Dear Straw Hat Pirates,

We are proud to announce that you have been chosen to partake in a race!" Usopp beamed at the sound of this and exclaimed, "I'm the fastest runner around! I can handle this!" Nami continued, "All participants are allowed to take all means necessary to win. This means you can hit your opponent to slow him/her down. Oh, one more thing: This is a team effort." She glared over at Zoro who merely shrugged and continued his nap.

"The last thing you need to know is that you must all travel in a vehicle that can travel on land. There are no exceptions. You'll need a pair of wheels. Sincerely, Neil Dunsmore."

Luffy scratched his head and asked, "What's a vehicle?" Nami thought for a moment and answered, "It's like that motorcycle Smoker uses." Everyone merely stared as Luffy asked, "Where are we gonna get something like that?"

Usopp laughed and answered, "On Motorcycle Island, of course. There, the people dedicate their lives to making motorcycles!" Chopper's eyes started to sparkle as he asked, "Can such an island actually exist?" Usopp nodded and continued, "If you give them alcohol, they gladly hand over a motorcycle to anyone who…" He was cut off as Nami whacked him on the back of the head.

Meanwhile…

On a far away planet known as Popstar, the young warrior, Kirby played happily with his friend, Bun as a bird flew in holding a piece of paper. It flew up to another one of Kirby's friends, Fumu.

Fumu looked at it with sparkling eyes. "Oh my god!" she exclaimed. "This is a rare breed, and it just flew up to me!" Bun ran over to it as Kirby followed like a sheep.

The bird held out his leg, which had a piece of paper tied to it. Fumu picked it off of the leg and said, "It must have come to deliver this letter." Metaknight showed up and asked, "What does it say?" Bun glared at him and asked, "How does he keep showing up like that?"

Fumu opened the letter and gasped as she read, "Dear Kirby and friends,

You have been accepted in a race here on Earth. All participants can win any way they want. That means you can play dirty and it will be legal."

The King overheard this and stated, "You hear that, Dr. Escargon? We can fight dirty!"

Fumu finished reading the letter as King Dedede approached her and asked, "Can we be a part of your team, Fumu-chan?" Fumu glared at them and asked, "Were you spying on us?" Escargon looked around and answered, "We might have."

Metaknight nodded his head and said, "They might make good additions. It says that we can legally attack our opponents in order to win as long as we don't kill anyone. I think this may be a good idea." Fumu had to admit that if her friends agreed, she had no choice but to let him join.

In the far off Mushroom Kingdom, Mario was sitting around and enjoying himself as a letter was dropped on his chest. He picked it up and opened it up. After he read it, he rushed to the castle to tell of this great event and assemble a team of his own.

Anyway, more and more people joined as young Kagome got this same letter and showed it to her friends in the feudal era, Yugi received his letter as the bird literally broke his window and other characters received this letter and were more than pumped to begin this race.

A week later, everyone had shown up. Usopp of the Straw Hat team had personally installed wheels onto the bottom of the Going Merry. Inuyasha had somehow found out a way to bring the others to the present. Kirby and his buddies a taken a spaceship to Earth. Team Zelda had used the song of time to find this race. Anyway, no matter what world the contestants were from, they all had managed to find the place and were ready for the start to be announced.

Neil walked up on stage and announced, "Welcome all to the ultimate race! Characters from all over the anime and video game universe have shown up to compete! They all have their own mode of transportation, and even though the letter says you need vehicles, you can use wagons if you are from another time period! The teams are lined up and ready to go! Anyway, for this race, the participants will start in the forest region in which they will have to survive giant piranha plants and vicious monkeys! We next move on to the Canyon region! Here, you must try not to fall off a cliff! That goes for you, two, team Bo-Bobo! Nest up is the desert region! Careful of quicksand and sandworms! After that, you travel through a big city, which will lead right back here thus ending the race!"

The contestants lined up their vehicles as Neil raised his hand in the air and announced, "Commence the race… now!"

List of teams:

Mario

Kirby

Inuyasha

Dragon Ball

One Piece

Yu-Gi-Oh

Naruto

Zelda

Bo-Bobo

Final Fantasy 7

Sonic

Yu-Gi-Oh GX

Goemon

Zatch Bell


	2. Chapter 2

The Ultimate Race

The race had begun. The contestants had started their engines and were going at the speed of light. Team Mario used a special golden limo from the Mushroom Kingdom that Mario had won in a previous race. (I don't own it, but my version of it has enough seats to carry more than two people)

Fumu, Bun and Metaknight sat back and relaxed not paying attention to the road. Bun sighed and said, "Keep up the good work, Kirby!" Of course, Kirby was pulling the car with his warpstar. Fumu shook her head and sighed, "Why did I agree to this?" Dedede and Escargon stood on the hood waiting to bash anyone in front of the car.

Team Inuyasha had a wagon. That's right, a regular, everyday wagon from the feudal era. No one knows how they got it into the present, but no one questioned it either. Sadly, under Kagome's command, Inuyasha was to help the horses pull the wagon. "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, YOU WENCH!" he barked. Kagome was about to tell him to sit when Miroku shook his head and stated, "If you did that, he wouldn't be able to pull the wagon."

Meanwhile, Bulma drove the Dragon Ball team in her capsule car. (I'm using the characters we all know from the first DB series because Z was repetitive and GT sucked) Goku flew the flying nimbus next to the car because he was to attack anyone who got ahead.

As for Team One Piece, Usopp's work on the wheels was great. They moved smoothly as a cloud and the pirate even had their cannons out for anyone who tried to get around them. Nami thought for a moment and asked, "What will we do if this is too big to avoid falling down the chasms in the canyon region?" Usopp froze and replied, "Sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Let's focus on the race!"

Anyway, Yugi had used his shadow magic to summon a vehicle for the team. They rode on the back of Sleifer the Sky Dragon! Kaiba folded his arms and spat, "We should have used Obelisk!"

Team Naruto used a wagon of its own. Naruto shook with fury and spat, "We don't need a wagon! I got something much better! Summon Frog Boss!" A small little red frog appeared in front of him as Sasuke remarked, "That's better than the wagon?" Frog Boss glared at him and retorted, "Of course I'm better!" Suddenly, he transformed into a giant frog. He utterly destroyed the wagon, but luckily managed to get the passengers onto his back. Jiraiya hugged Naruto and raved, "I'm so proud of you! You learned to summon the frog boss! My teaching wasn't in vein! Now use Sexy no Jutsu for me!"

Team Zelda used a wagon of its own. Naturally, Epona was the only horse pulling it. There's not much to say about them. Well… Ralph got wagon sick and puked but that's about it. (What? He's my favorite character from "Oracle of Ages".)

Meanwhile, Team Bo-Bobo used a tight limo in this race. Don Patch grinned and asked, "You like this ride? I pimped it myself!" Bo-Bobo glared and retorted, "Don't take credit for this! I pimped this tide!" Beauty looked around and asked, "Why didn't Jelly Jiggler come along?" Gasser pointed out the side at an incoming Jelly riding his Nu-Car Pretzel Racer.

Meanwhile, since they had nothing else, the people of FF7 simply rode in their buggy. Cloud decided to ride his motorcycle on the side in order to slash at any incoming opponents. Barret sighed and asked, "Why don't we get a sweet ride?"

Luckily for Team Sonic, they had the Speed King himself, Sam! He smiled and said, "Don't worry about a thing, Chris! Your Uncle Sam will win this race for you!" Chris was confident until he noticed that Sonic and his friends were using the X-Tornado's running gear for the race.

Anyway, Jaden and his pals were using a simple car. They had no shadow magic, so this was their only means of transportation. Jaden looked at Sleifer and said, "I wish I had shadow magic! Sleifer looks awesome!"

Now, we go to Goemon and his team. They were riding a magical dragon. He groaned and stated, "When I said I'd take you anywhere, I didn't mean I'd help you win a petty race!" Yae stomped her foot on his head and retorted, "Hush up, you!" Goemon smiled and said, "It's okay! You can take a rest! I've got an idea!" He pulled out a conch shell and blew into it as a large robot named Impact appeared. They all traveled into him as he sang the following:

"Dash-dash-dash! The burning sun gleaming on my shoulders! Here we go! Start! The machine comes alive. I am machinery. I'm a metal being. Hey! Jump out onto the sky, metal spirit! Let's go! Break down! And with all my might! Power to the highest limit! Super punch! I am the best! Yes, Impact! Dash-dash-dash!"

By the time the song was over, the team was in last place because they wasted time.

Anyway, Team Zatch Bell rode in a sweet limo provided by one of their friends. Zatch turned around as Kiyo shouted "Zachair!" The lightning bolt simply made them a little faster.

Meanwhile, Shajohashi, Boraku, Kendo and Blue Rock were riding a small kid's four-seat bicycle, even though they were ninjas. Blue Rock panted as he asked, "Whose idea was it for me to drive?" Boraku frowned and retorted, "You've spent more life riding these things, therefore, you should be able to use them better than we ever could!" Blue Rock grinned and stated, "Well, so long as I'm useful, can I have my powers back?" Boraku shook his head as Blue Rock uttered, "I'll get you for this, you stupid Jew."

After five minutes, they had finally entered the forest region. This is where the real race was to begin.


	3. Chapter 3

The Ultimate Race

The race started off smoothly. No one had attacked one-another yet. It was almost… too peaceful. No one had attacked their opponents yet. They were still moving at a fast pace, with Impact crushing the Pretzel Racer, but other than that, everything was going smoothly.

This peaceful moment brought a serious uproar from the audience. A man got up and barked, "HIT EACH OTHER ALREADY!"

Neil had to agree that this was boring, but he had to calm down the audience before they started to destroy stuff. He pulled out a laser/pen (Used in all my scripted fics on Freedom of Speech) and shot it towards the area in which the racers were located.

The laser hit its mark and woke up a series of giant buds. These weren't ordinary buds, mind you. These buds soon sprouted and transformed into piranha plants.

Luigi noticed this little problem and tapped Mario on the shoulder while he stuttered, "Mario… you'd better look at this…" Mario turned around and asked, "What is it, L- OH MY GOD!"

Mario jumped up and barked, "Peach, you steer! I'll handle this!" Peach took control of the wheel as Mario leaped at the enemy. He planted his feet in one plant's head, but it hardly dealt any damage as Mario soon found himself in the jaws of one. He immediately pulled out his hammer and whacked its skull thus freeing himself.

Team Kirby, on the other hand, was having no trouble at all. Dedede and Escargon simply used their buzz saws to take care of the plants. Unfortunately, two of the plants ate the buzz saws and snapped at the duo. Escargon hid in his shell, so his adversary broke its teeth. Dedede simply freed himself the same way Mario did. Sadly, one of the plants snuck up behind them and forced Fumu into its jaws. Metaknight made quick work of it.

Inuyasha was having the most fun he ever had. He cut up plant after plant as Sango used her Hiraikotsu. This was no challenge for people who had slain countless demons over the past.

Goku simply punched the living daylights out of them and took a bite out of one. He spat it up and complained, "I usually don't mind vegetables, but this is disgusting!" Sadly, more appeared, so Oolong transformed into a pair of clippers and snipped off their stems.

Luffy noticed a big one biting at the side of the ship. He shot out his fist and announced, "Gomu-Gomu no Pistol!" Sadly, his fist got stuck in the monster's mouth. Zoro sighed, jumped out and sliced the plants into little pieces. Usopp burned them with his exploding stars and Chopper cut them up with his antlers.

Luckily for Team Yu-Gi-Oh, Sleifer could fly and he was able to fend off the monsters quite easily. They had no problems, and it was because of this that they were in first.

The ninjas of Team Naruto threw daggers and shuriken stars at the plants, so it was easy for them. Frog Boss also ate those that got in his ways.

Ralph tried to fight off the plants, but he wasn't much of a swordsman, so he had trouble handling it. Din burned them with some fire and Zelda… wait… make that Sheik, used the same method that Naruto had used. Nayru walked up to Link, who was shaking really hard and asked, "Why aren't you fighting them?" Link shook harder and uttered, "I… must… no… mustn't… I must... chop… PLA-A-ANTS!" He took out his Master Sword and went on a chopping rampage, picking up any rupees or hearts they left behind.

A piranha lashed its teeth at Bo-Bobo as he plugged up his nose and whined, "EW! When the last time you flossed? You need more dental hygiene!" The plant stopped trying to eat him and hung its head in shame. Beauty stared in shock and barked, "DON'T STOP DRIVING! KEEP GOING!" Bo-Bobo soon became a dentist and took out some dental floss. He rubbed the floss against the plant's teeth and said, "There, that's much better. Now we have to improve your image." He pulled out a makeup kit and smothered the plant in lipstick and eyeliner. "That's so much better. You can face the world now!" The plant blushed, rooted itself out of the ground and ran off to see the world.

Meanwhile, Cloud sliced the plants in half, Yuffie cut them with her boomerang and Barret shot holes in them. They had no problems.

The plant started to snap at Sam's new car as Sonic deployed himself out of the X-Tornado and spin-dashed his way through the plants. He turned to his friends and stated, "I'll stay out here in case you need backup!" Tails gave him the thumbs up as Amy simply blushed. "He's worried about my safety!"

Anyway, things were looking up for the GX team. Sure, Winged Kuribo had been beaten up trying to help, but the good professor had brought along pairs of clippers for this task.

Anyway, nothing could penetrate Impact, so Team Goemon had no complaints.

The plants were nowhere near Team Zatch. Whenever they came close, Zatch and his friend would simply destroy them.

Blue Rock tried desperately to ditch the evil plants. He quickly got angry and shouted, "Look, you stupid plants, if you don't leave us alone, I will kick you in the nuts!" Boraku slapped his forehead as Kendo and Shajohashi fought the plants off with Kendo's ninja stars and Shajohashi's tanpa. One of the plants ripped off Kendo's head as Shajohashi shouted, "Oh my god! They killed Kenny!" Boraku raised his fist in the air and barked, "You bastards!" Blue Rock shook with fury and shouted, "Not I am pissed off!" Then he held up his sai and sliced the plants around him.

Anyway, Mario became Fire Mario and burned the plant, Kirby became Cutter Kirby and Bo-Bobo used a strange warp to make up for the two minutes he'd wasted giving the plants makeovers. Now it was time for the race to continue.


	4. Chapter 4

The Ultimate Race

Finally, the piranha plants were done with. Team Bo-Bobo was out in first when Sleifer snuck up right behind them. Bo-Bobo turned around and cried, "OH MY GOD! IT'S A BACKSTREET BOY!"

He immediately used his nose hairs to launch the team into the air in order to gain some speed. Sadly, he did this in front of a turnoff and wound up in a tree as Sleifer shot a powerful blast at the car.

Yami shook his head and asked, "Now, why did you do that? I told you not to." Sleifer let out a roar that can be translated to "Because I can?"

Team Dragon Ball managed to sneak up behind Sleifer as Goku leaped at him and grabbed onto his tail. "Hey, this looks tasty!" he exclaimed as he took a huge bite out of its tail.

Sleifer didn't feel any pain, but he soon did when Yamcha rushed in, grabbed onto its tail and pulled it towards the ground. 'Bulma will love me for sure after helping the team get ahead of old two-mouth here!' Sadly, Sleifer whipped him off of its tail and continued flying. Sadly, Goku was still there.

Jonouchi shook and barked, "LET GO OF THE TAIL!" Then he rushed in and punched Goku in the face. Goku fell towards Bulma's car when he used his tail as a propeller, flew up to Jonouchi, flashed a disturbing grin and punched him in the face.

Sleifer merely whipped him towards the car thus sending Bulma screeching out of control.

Team Goemon had taken advantage of the little fight to catch up as Impact fired a series of exploding coins out of his nose at Sleifer. Sleifer turned its head around and blasted the huge robot.

Teams Inuyasha and Naruto were neck and neck. Naruto and Inuyasha glared at one another and tried to see who was faster. Sadly, they both match each other in speed. Suddenly, a blue wheel streaked through Team Inuyasha's wagon thus breaking it into tiny pieces. Luckily, Neil had the materials to repair all the vehicles used in the race, so it was okay. It just slowed them down dramatically as Team Sonic was now next to Team Naruto.

The Straw Hat Pirates weren't doing as well as everyone had expected. Usopp growled and stated, "That's it! I'm solving this problem once and for all!"

He placed an Impact dial on the end of the ship and activated it, thus sending them ahead of the two teams in front of them, Kirby and Zelda. Link pulled out a fire arrow and fired it at the back of the ship.

Luffy noticed the fire and started to have a panic attack. "WHAT ARE WE GUNNA' DO?" he wailed. Nami remembered her Clima Tact.

She pulled the staff apart and spun the pieces around as little red and blue orbs emerged from the ends. Soon, a huge cloud had appeared in the sky.

Nami formed her Clima Tact into a triangle shape, threw it at the cloud and announced, "Today's weather forecast is a thunderstorm! Thunderbolt Tempo!"

The triangle made its way into the big cloud as a huge thunderbolt emerged and lit team Zelda's wagon on fire. After that, a rainstorm poured onto the ship and extinguished the flame, but sadly, it didn't extinguish the fire it had left behind on the wagon. Link had to use an ice arrow to solve that problem. Sadly, before he could fire it, Kirby inhaled it and became Ice Kirby.

Anyway, Mario was now face to face with Cloud Strife. He pulled out a sword with a mushroom rim and said, "This is the Mushroom Sword! Prepare for the worst pain you'll ever face!"

Cloud smirked and said, "I'll cut that limo of yours up into little pieces, plumber!"

The two locked swords, and in the end, Cloud's sword was too big and powerful to be beat. He clanged it against the side of the golden limo as Mario jumped on his head.

The force caused Cloud to fall off of his motorcycle and land face-first in the dirt. After that, Mario threw a hammer at the car Cloud had been protecting.

Tifa got super pissed, jumped out of the car over to Mario's car, and punched him and the driver in the face. Toad quickly took over the driver's seat just in time for the limo to run into a tree.

Cloud sped past them and exclaimed, "TAKE THAT, BITCH! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Team Zatch and Team South Park were both head to head. Kiyo had Zatch turn around as he shouted, "Zachair!" Zatch fired a large thunderbolt that Boraku easily blocked with the ice magic in his nunchucks. Sadly, Zatch had sent the car reeling into the forest next to them and into a tree. Wow! That makes at least three car crashes!

Shajohashi threw his tonfas at the car for added damage and used his powers to make them return. Blue Rock continued to drive the little kid's bike and said, "If I had my powers, I could make us a kickass limo!"

Shajohashi gasped as he asked, "Why didn't you tell us that earlier! Kyle, give him back his powers!" Boraku hated Blue Rock with great intensity, but he didn't want to lose, so he reluctantly handed Blue Rock his powers back. Suddenly, the three boys found themselves in a kickass limo just in time for Kendo to reappear out of thin air.

"Hey, Kenny's back!" exclaimed Shajohashi.

The race continued, and with some strange miracle, Team One Piece had managed to get out in forth.


	5. Chapter 5

The Ultimate Race

It had been 30 minutes since the race had begun. The racers were still in the forest region and Team Yu-Gi-Oh was still in first.

Teams Zatch and Bo-Bobo were now neck-and-neck. Tia turned around and opened up her special shield to stop and incoming shuriken Don Patch. Suddenly, the famous singer, Parco Folgore emerged from his seat and asked, "You think you can beat us? We can beat you any day of the week!"

Kanchome held a battle pose as Bo-Bobo noticed the duckbill and cried, "Oh my god! Mutant penguins have come to kill us all!" Kanchome glared at him and said, "I'm not a penguin! I'm a mamodo!"

Kiyo slapped his forehead and thought, 'This can't get any worse.'

Suddenly, Bo-Bobo dressed up in dance gear and asked, "You ready to get served?" Beauty glared at him and barked, "That's not gonna' stop them!"

Suddenly, Bo-Bobo and Don Patch took out a couple of microphones and started to sing in a really loud and annoying voice. This was enough to wake up a pack of monkeys who attacked both teams and sent their cars into trees.

Anyway, no one knows how it happened, but Team Mario had managed to catch up with Team Sonic, who was now in third for some reason. Knuckles jumped out of the X-Tornado and punched the roof of the car. Mario jumped out of the car as the two fighters ran next to each other and started a running street brawl. Just as the two were about to punch each other, Impact showed up and kicked them both into the distance, sending them flying 5 miles ahead of Team Yu-Gi-Oh.

Knuckles looked back and said, "It will possibly take a while for them to catch up and our rides to save us, so let's have our match right here."

Mario nodded and lunged at Knuckles, who punched him into a tree.

Anyway, Luffy grabbed onto the back of Team Dragon Ball's car and reeled them in as Goku placed his hands in the famous position. He announced, "Kamehameha!" and fired a huge blast of energy at the captain of the Straw Hats. Luffy inhaled some air and shouted, "Gomu-Gomu no Balloon!" After that, his body inflated and deflected the blast back at Goku. The kid merely dodged the attack as the streaming energy beam soared over to Team Yu-Gi-Oh and caused Sleifer to wale out in pain.

Yugi stared blankly and asked, "Where did that come from?"

Knuckles had Mario pinned to a tree as he continued to punch him in the gut. Suddenly, a glow came from Mario's pocket. The plumber pulled out a leaf, suddenly freed himself and jumped into the air, doing a series of flips.

He stopped in midair as the leaf tore apart. Two pieces of the magic leaf attached themselves to Mario's hat and turned into a pair of raccoon ears. After that, the remaining pieces formed together to create a tail. Mario had become Raccoon Mario.

Knuckles stared and asked, "What is up with that costume?" Mario grinned and said, "It's more than a costume." With that, he spun around and whacked Knuckles into a tree with his tail.

Suddenly, Zatch had used almost all of his power and somehow ended up in second. Yugi turned around and said, "Guys, we have more company."

Jonouchi laughed and said, "This is no problem! Sleifer will just protect us some more."

Sleifer was about to blast the car when Parco emerged and said, "You want to know my name? I am the great legendary Parco Folgore! Do you wish to hear my famous song, 'Groping Breasts'?"

Anzu felt sick. This ugly guy had just talked about groping breasts. Kaiba rolled his eyes and said, "We didn't ask for your name OR ask you to sing your perverted song!"

Parco was about to cry when he said, "You need to hear it before you judge it." Kanchome turned on the CD player as Parco sang, "Big breasts, big breasts and boobs! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Big breasts, big breasts and boobs! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing!"

As the song went, Yugi felt this strange urge to dance with him. Along with that, Anzu, Jonouchi and even Kaiba joined in.

"Groping-groping-groping!" went the song.

The strangest thing happened after that. Sleifer found himself dancing as well. Parco continued the dance and sang, "Grope-grope-groping-groping. Groping giant breasts! Groping, puririn poyon groping. Groping, puririn poyon groping! Perfect round breasts! Triangular boobs! Rocket-go-boing! Tenderly groping! Suddenly just groping! Subtly groping! Repeatedly groping!"

The song stopped as Team Zatch turned the car to avoid a tree that Sleifer just happened to run into. This sent the team off-course, but they did manage to get back on course to see Teams Sonic, One Piece, Dragon Ball, Final Fantasy and Mario (Not in that order) pass them in an instant.

"That son of a bitch!" exclaimed Kaiba.

Teams Naruto, Inuyasha and Bo-Bobo were tied in second-last but were closing in on team Kirby. Suddenly, the four ninjas rode in on their new pimping ride as Bo-Bobo exclaimed, "They're ride's better than ours!" Don Patch noticed this and exclaimed, "They can't be allowed to have the superior car!"

Shajohashi noticed two strange fighters charging at their car and whacked them both with his Tonfas. Boraku noticed this and said, "This is getting annoying. We're in last place and the racers are already trying to slow us down."

Blue Rock grinned and said, "I have an idea." He placed his fingers against his forehead and teleported the team so they were trailing Team Yu-Gi-Oh. "Why didn't you do that before?" asked Boraku. Blue Rock shrugged and answered, "It only works once and doesn't go very far." Boraku glared at him and retorted, "Cartman, you basically give yourself any power you want! You can make it more powerful!" Blue Rock thought of a rebuttal and said, "It's against the ninja code." Boraku slapped his forehead and retorted, "Everything you do is against the ninja code!"

Anyway, Teams Mario and Sonic picked up their baggage, Team Dragon Ball destroyed Zatch Bell's car and they were now in first.


	6. Chapter 6

The Ultimate Race

Yu-Gi-Oh had finally been blasted back… into 7th place! Kaiba grimaced and exclaimed, "We have to get back into first!" Sadly, this was halted as Boraku fired an ice blast from his nunchucks thus freezing Sleifer and allowing them to get ahead.

As Team Kirby was about to catch up, Sleifer freed himself and fired a blast at team South Park.

Team Goemon had managed to catch up with Team Kirby as Impact fired a series of exploding coins out of his nose. Fumu turned around, gasped and exclaimed, "Kirby, inhale that!"

Kirby tried to inhale it only to notice the wheel of Team South Park's wheel fall into his mouth. He flipped towards the blast and turned himself into a wheel, thus deflecting the attack and sliding into a little slot underneath the team's car. This gave Team Kirby a fifth wheel.

Meanwhile, GX had finally caught up with teams Naruto and Inuyasha. Kuribo left his post to attack team Inuyasha's wagon only two be knocked back to his own team with the Hiraikotsu.

Sango took a deep breath and asked, "What was that disgusting thing?" Jaden glared at her and barked, "DON'T CALL KURIBO DISGUSTING! HE'S MY BEST FRIEND!"

Syrus stared at him and asked, "He's your best friend?"

Alexis giggled as Zane laughed at his little brother's suffering.

Naruto was pissed off now. He kicked Frog Boss on the forehead and barked, "Pick up the pace, you slow asshole!"

Frog Boss glared at him and remarked, "Do you want me to drop you off right here?"

Anyway, Teams Mario and Sonic were tied in second. Mario looked up and grinned as he exclaimed, "We're almost in the canyon region! We're finally finished with the forest!"

Team Sonic was also happy to hear this news. Sadly, a fireball hit the backs of both their cars causing them to blow up.

Sogeking of Team One Piece (Who is really Usopp) let out a triumphant laugh and exclaimed, "Nobody messes with the great Sogeking!"

Suddenly, he broke out into a song and dance that went as follows:

"On Sharpshooter Island, I was born! 100 shots, 100 hits! Lu-lu-la-la-lu! Even a mouse's eye! Lock on! Even on your heart! LOCK ON! The man that came Sharpshooter Island! Lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-la-la! You had better run and hide! Sogege Soge Soge… Sogeking!"

Nami whacked him on the back of the head and barked, "Give it a rest, Usopp!" Luffy scratched his forehead and said, "That's not Usopp. That's the great Sogeking."

As every sub fan knows, Luffy and Chopper were the only two who fell for the obvious disguise.

Luffy looked around and asked, "Where IS Usopp?"

The crew (Accept Chopper) pointed behind him and retorted, "HE'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!" Luffy looked up and replied, "That's not Usopp. That's Sogeking."

Team Dragon Ball was still in first and Zatch Bell had been sent back 5 places. They were now right behind Teams Sonic and Mario… well, they were until their cars were blown up. Now Zatch was in third.

Kiyo thought for a minute and said, "Zatch, aim for that corner of the ship." Zatch faced where Kiyo was pointing. He cleared his breath and barked, "ZACHAIR!"

The lightning bolt blew up the back of the ship but Sogeking managed to rush down and repair it in an instant. No one knew how it was possible. No one cared. All we know is that Team Zatch took advantage of this and got in second.

When things were looking good, Sanji got out and forced them behind the ship with his powerful feet (And he didn't injure them doing it) and to make things worse, Team Final Fantasy showed up and had Barret blow the car up with a grenade bomb.

As the four teams fought for the rights to be in second, Team Yu-Gi-Oh had managed to sneak back into second and blow up Bulma's car thus allowing them to be in first.

To make things worse for these teams, Team South Park also managed to get ahead of them. They were still behind team Yu-Gi-Oh.

Blue Rock turned to Kyle and said, "All right, Jew, you're supposed to be smart! You think of a way to get rid of that flying beast!" Boraku thought of a plan and said, "Stan, Blue Rock will use his water powers and you use your fire! You will both shoot at the same spot! This will cause overheat therefore Sleifer will be in a panic attack for a few seconds!"

Blue Rock hated taking advice from a Jew, but he had seen this idea work on a Pokemon episode before. He nodded and fired a stream of water at Sleifer's tail. Stan used his fire on the same spot and this caused a serious burn to form on Sleifer's tail.

Yugi noticed this as his eyes bulged out. The others screamed as Sleifer flailed about and allowed teams South Park and One Piece to get ahead of them.

Anyway, the canyon was just two meters away (Long straight path, no?) and the racers were on their way.


	7. Chapter 7

The Ultimate Race

Finally, the racers had entered the canyon. It was a vast mountain full of cliffs and… more cliffs.

Neil raised his arm up to the cheering crowd and announced, "For the record, here is the list with our current results!"

(List goes from first to last)

South Park

One Piece

Yu-Gi-Oh

Zatch Bell

Dragon Ball

Kirby

Goemon

Inuyasha

Naruto

GX

FF7

Sonic

Mario

Bobobo

Zelda

"Now let's get back to our contestants!" the host stated, pointing back to the huge screen with the racers on it.

And, boy, had this started off exciting. Team South Park tried all it could to stay ahead but unfortunately, they were in front of the only fighters that could break stone with next to no effort and didn't need the most advanced super powers to do it. (Or maybe they did)

Luffy shot out his fist and shouted, "Gomu-Gomu no Pistol!" thus punching onto the back of the vehicle. This left a huge dent and slowed it down long enough for the Going Merry to pass.

"Goddamnit!" Blue Rock cursed as an energy blast shot the vehicle from behind and blew it up.

'Finally we can get back in first,' Kaiba thought as Sleifer readied himself to take down team One Piece.

Just as they were about to get revenge, the Going Merry turned because, apparently, there was a turn-off in front of them. Sleifer had to temporarily stop his attack just to stay on course.

Okay, this is somewhat more boring than my last 6 chapters, so let's get to some scenes that are sure to bring us action AND humor.

As Team DB tried to catch up with Team Zatch, Kiyo opened up his spell book and shouted, "Zakare!" as Zatch fired yet another bolt of lighting at the capsule car.

The attack hit dead-on as Goku leapt off of the flying nimbus, landed on top of Team Zatch's car and punched the car's hood. This allowed them to get passed easily with now problems.

"Dammit!" Kiyo spat, "I am sick and tired of how those teams keep getting ahead of us! We've tried all we can and we still can't stay past them! How do we do this?"

"I know," Parco said, "I will sing my special song!"

Kiyo slapped himself on the forehead and thought, 'That's just what we need.'

Ironically, as he said this, Team Kirby had just caught up. Kanchome pulled out his special radio once again.

"Hello there," he greeted, "Do you know who I am?"

"I don't care," Yamcha replied as Fumu blinked and said, "I'm curious as to know who you are."

"Who cares?" Bun asked as Parco laughed and explained, "I'm a famous pop singer. You logically have to care."

"A POP SINGER?" both teams retorted in unison. This actually shocked them. They were not expecting this.

Bulma blushed and said, "Well, I have to admit that you're kinda cute. Why not sing a song for us?"

Parco blushed and said, "That's what I was planning to do! I'll make you fall in love with my amazing talents!"

Once again, another team caught up, and this team was Goemon. Impact had heard what Folgore had said and stated, "Listen, you, no one sings better than me!"

"Oh, you'll change your tone!" Parco retorted, "Kanchome, you know what to do!"

"Music Start!" the little mamodo exclaimed, pressing the button labeled 'play'.

With that, a rhythm started up in the background as Parco started dancing and sang, "Big breasts, big breasts and boobs. Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Big breasts, big breasts and boobs! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing!"

The other teams, though very disturbed by his song, felt like dancing. Krillin, on the other hand, along with Roshi only danced because they liked the concept of boobs.

"Groping, groping, groping," he continued as he started to dance to the catchy rhythm. Amazingly, even Impact felt the urge to dance with him. So did Goemon, Ebisumaru, Sasuke and Yae.

"What is this strange feeling?" Yae asked as Sasuke said, "Monoshire would love this song. I have to ask him for it later."

No one understood why, but even Fumu had started dancing, and she wasn't one to be bought in by this kinda thing.

"Why am I compelled to dance to a song that's so perverted?" she asked as Metaknight shrugged and said, "Because it's cool."

"M-hm," Wheel Kirby replied, now sounding like Gir for some reason. (Got that joke from a Youtube video)

Parco continued his dance and sang, "Groping, groping, groping. Groping giant breasts. Groping puririn poyon groping. Groping pororon puyon groping. Perfect round breasts, triangular boobs. Rocket-go-boing. Tenderly groping! Suddenly just groping! Repeatedly groping! Continuously groping!"

As soon as the verse ended, Team DB had apparently gotten distracted and ran right into a stone wall. Folgore continued his dance and sang the chorus again. As soon as that had finished, the other two teams met the same wall but had managed to dance away from it somehow.

Parco gasped and said, "Quick, Kanchome, we have to do the combination dance!"

Kanchome nodded in understanding as Parco picked him up and started swinging him back and forth while singing, "Big breasts, big breasts and boobs! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing!"

As he went on, his strategy had apparently sent team Kirby flying over a cliff. A few seconds more and Impact had stupidly ran into a wall and fell to pieces.

Kiyo simply stared, blinked a couple of times and said, "That was even more affective than the first time we used it.

"We pelted 3 with one stone," Parco stated, laughing all the while.

We'll get to the other teams later. Sorry this took so long.


End file.
